Stories of the Lost and Found

I got the call last night but first I got a voicemail. When I listened to the voicemail I knew what I would hear when I called back and I didn’t want to do it. I said, “I didn’t like the sound of her voice,” and continued to slowly dialed the number. She told me he was gone but I already knew that. It’s unbelievable what you can tell from just somebody’s voice when you’re waiting to hear bad news. I cried a few tears but I sucked them back in. I was gonna be strong, ya know? I wasn’t gonna break down. I wasn’t gonna cry even if I wanted to. The ball was stuck in my throat all night but a tear I wouldn’t let fall. She told me he wasn’t hurting anymore but I could tell she was. My rock for as long as I can remember and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard her cry the way I did on the phone last night. She’s exactly like I remember her Mama to be: Independent, straight-forward and unbelievably strong.  I woke up to sunshine and birds chirping. I had turned my phone off so I t...

In the past 36 hours, give or take a few, I've struggled.  I've struggled with understanding why God would put me, or rather us, through this heartbreaking thing called 'cancer' not one time, not two times, but many different times.  I've struggled with what this is going to mean for my family in the long run, now that the secondary glue that holds us altogether is getting taken away. Slowly, but surely.  I've struggled with why now? Why so freaking soon after my Nany passed, so soon after we were getting happier, so soon after everyone was finally finding their own way again... Why?  And finally, I've struggled with understanding why every time I start to have faith that God is on our side, every time I start to rebuild faith in things, I find myself questioning everything once again.  WHY?  But the truth is, I'll never know why.  Yesterday was opening day for the Atlanta Braves. It was their first time being back at Turner Field since last season and...