Oldies...

-
2012
Somedays I’m happy while other days I’m sad
Somedays I dream about the life I never even had
People walk by me and I try and say hello
But the only thing that happens is my head turns to jello
I don’t know why I feel this way
I tread thru black and blue
I always wonder if it’s just me,
Or do others feel this, too?
It makes me a little scared but I don’t dare and confess
Because if I told they would just call me a hot crazy mess.
So ill continue not to cry and I’ll just hold it in
for one day I’ll know the answers and my face will light up again.

 2012
When I think about home all I think about is You
I think about your eyes and the things that we do
You don’t know what you do to me
You don’t know how I feel
You don’t know that it’s hard for me
To believe that this is real
I want to have faith but sometimes I just can’t
You see people always leave and it leaves me in a rut
How can you have faith when you’ve always been the one to get cut?
You think you understand but I don’t think you do
That the reason I come home, well the reason is you
I’m trying not to fall under, I’m trying to stay  up top
Because in my future I see us, standing upon a rock
I see us on a rock, on a rock of pure stone

because if I stay strong, you’ll guide me back to home.

2013
Somedays I just want to get far away, These people don't even try to understand. Somedays I just want to fly away, And not give a care where I land. I get so lost in my thoughts, They're never ending, they never stop, I swear one day my head will explode with all the things I've hid Memories will come spewing, I will no longer have a lid. The things that were once sacred will be known by all, my mind will no longer be a magic eight ball. Somedays I wonder how people can be so cruel, so mean, so sad. Somedays I wonder, how did I become so fucking mad? The people in my life, the places I've known, you see they never leave, they find a place in my head To stay, never helping, always a foe. How do I learn to act like things don't effect me, when will I learn to just neglect things? I'm beginning to think I never will And I'll always be thinking of a life I wish to fulfill, Always wanting more,nothing being enough. If only someone would call my bluff.

2013
It kills me when people say how crazy, when they see a writing frenzy. I just keep my mouth pulled tight Because writing is the only way for me to see the light. If you knew how much it helped, just the feeling of letting it all out. Nobody to Judge, nobody faking to listen.
just you and the paper as your ink slightly glistens. The monsters of our lives live inside our soul, People think they come and go but they stake their ground, popping randomly for a surprise little show. It's hard to fight them bastards, to suppress that nasty stuff. That's why I grab my paper, just when I've had enough. It's better to put it into words people can't read, cant analyze, can't repeat. It's better to have something When you feel as if you have nothing

2013
Your smile brings me happiness Full of warmth and strength The way you look me in my eyes The way you sneak that wink
Your arms wrap around me Your fingers locked with care You trail your fingers up my spine And leave me feeling bare
I knew from that first glance That first introduction You weren't just another You were my undeniable perfection
You lift me when I'm down, Your strengths are my weakness It's crazy how you can lay me down And captivate me with your kisses
Your laugh is like no other, Your style all your own My heart is forever yours Already written and set in stone

2013
There are some things we just can't change No matter how hard, no matter the pain. Life goes on, we all grow, Always hearing things we wish we didn't know. Our minds expand, with things of new While our hearts deflate, filled with hate, With thoughts of things that we just had to do. You think you got it all figured out until someone shows you different, But then again aren't we all the same, Just different shapes in different pictures?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Village Kids

-
Image
“Village Kids” Originally Posted May 8th, 2022 • • • Mother’s Day. A single, sole date of the year on which mothers are honored by their children in many of ways: Ditch daises picked by the little blond mini-me in her best dress, no shoes, and little pigtails blowing in the breeze as she runs yelling, “MOMMY! MOMMY! I picked you a flower.” Candy chosen with care - ensuring all her favorites are there. Don’t forget the almond joys. Handmade construction paper cards with painted handprints titled “I love you, Mom!” Family get togethers with a plethora of food, laughter, story telling, and memories. Breakfast-in-Bed made by the little tiny humans, hair still stuck up from waking up out of bed without bothering to brush their teeth - or their cowlick. It is a beautiful thing to witness - a family. A real one. An unbroken one. A bond like no other. It is also a feeling I have craved since before a time I can recall memories. It is the reason for so many years I have woken up angry, and bitt...
Read more

Pink Skies [an influential ballard]

-
  I wish I could answer all of the questions  that you've laid in front of me yet in all we know there's a disconnect with what is remembered and what is shown from back in '92 throughtout the trials and the tribulations we all find ourselves asking and begging for the answer  We know  what we know but has it ever been enough? We know  what we know and it's assured that we've always been loved. <3
Read more

This One's For You

-
Image
There are often times I get praised for the way I handle life's back-to-back to back hits and while my answer tends to throw people off with my honesty- and transparency- it's genuinely the truth: I'm accustomed to it- and I have been my entire life. I am accustomed to the chaos, and what comes with it. I am accustomed to the loneliness of losing, and having to heal. I am accustomed to being broken, and having to pick up the pieces to recreate myself as a mosaic. I am accustomed to heartache, the grief, the defeat, the pain, the stress, and having to mask it in order to succeed. What I was not accustomed to, or ever thought I'd have to learn, is learning to love again after losing. Learning to trust, not to simply fill a void and create a short-term bond. Learning that I am worthy, even when I feel as if I am not. And learning that in order to love again? You need to understand that not everyone will understand. I had a co-worker say something to me this last week: “You...
Read more